Before I begin I just want to aplologize to everyone I may have hurt in the forums/discord channels.. I know that I haven't been myself lately, as stress and anger have been affecting my actions lately..
I've been noticing that my mood has been effecting my rp, and that my character's actions sometimes don't match their personality, and that they will take on my personality instead.. I'm sorry if anything I said/wrote on the forums whether directly or through my character have hurt you.
I guess I can only begin from the beginning..
ever since I was a little kid, I was bullied,harassed,beaten up, and looked down upon. Everyday I was scared because a bully told me that he was going to bring a gun and shoot me. It only got worse after the whole school started bullying me (they even made a club to kill me..) The principle didn't help me, as she ignored the problem, and because of the constant harassment, o became cold and angry, without nothing to look forward to but either vengeance and death. To top things off my parents weren't any better.. My "Mom" as I call her as the least closest thing I would ever call to a mom. She never listens to me, she purposely calls me names, curses me out, and tries to find an excuse to be mad at me.. 99% of the time I'm arguing with her, and about 60% of the time it gets either violent or it result in one of us being deeply scarred.. on top of that, after these kind of fights, she blames me for it and make sure me look like the demon. Every night I just lie there, thinking about what I did wrong to deserve this kind of life.. I always feel bad about myself the day after because I always feel like it's my fault even if it was caused by her.. My dad isnt much better.. I don't even want to call him dad.. I really don't.. he's nothing like a dad should be.. he's cold, short tempered, strict, brash, and loves to yell at with every chance he has. Every time I get into an argument with my "mom" he always takes her side, and yells at me, and tells me what an awful son I am... He uses me as a scape goat 90% of the time, redirecting his anger towards me, even though I've done nothing wrong. I can't even take one step out of line without him exploding at me. I hate this life.. I can't even call these people my parents.. they're the reason why I tried to attempt suicide at the age of 12.. FUCKING 12.. Looking back, i really wish that attempt worked. I wouldn't have to deal with more of their shit now.. I have no friends, as the one star I had left me when they learned I was gay. I don't feel like I'm even living anymore... I'm just waking up to the same cycle every day and I'm six and tired of it.. I'm tired of feeling like shit, I'm tired of feeling unappreciated, I'm tired of being treated differently, I'm tired of crying myself to sleep every night, knowing that nobody loves me and that even god rejected me. I'm tired of feeling worthlessness to everyone around me..
There's only one option for me now...